Decoding Your Child's Behavior: It’s as Easy as A-B-C
Decoding Your Child's Behavior: It’s as Easy as A-B-C
As a parent, you’ve likely found yourself asking, "Why did they do that?" more times than you can count. Whether it's a sudden tantrum, a refusal to do homework, or a sibling squabble, understanding the "why" behind a behavior can feel like solving a mystery.
Fortunately, there's a simple yet powerful tool that can help you become a behavior detective: the A-B-C model. This framework helps us look at behavior not as a random event, but as something connected to what happens before and after.
A is for Antecedent: The "Before"
The antecedent is what happens right before the behavior occurs. It's the trigger or the setup. An antecedent can be an instruction, a specific environment, a time of day, or even an internal feeling.
Examples of Antecedents:
You say, "It's time to turn off the tablet."
A sibling takes a toy.
Your child feels hungry or tired before dinner.
You walk into a crowded, noisy grocery store.
Think of the antecedent as setting the stage for the behavior.
B is for Behavior: The "What"
The behavior is the specific, observable action your child takes. The key here is to be specific. "He had a fit" is vague. "He dropped to the floor, cried, and yelled 'no!'" is a clear, observable behavior.
Examples of Behaviors:
Throwing a toy.
Saying, "I don't want to."
Putting their head on the desk.
Hitting a sibling.
This is the action you are trying to understand.
C is for Consequence: The "After"
The consequence is what happens immediately after the behavior. It's important to know that "consequence" doesn't automatically mean "punishment." It's simply the outcome from the child's perspective. The consequence often explains the function of the behavior—what your child gets out of it.
A behavior is typically trying to achieve one of two things:
To Get Something: Attention (even negative attention), a desired toy, a snack, or screen time.
To Avoid Something: A non-preferred task (like homework), a difficult social situation, or leaving a fun activity.
Examples of Consequences:
Getting: You spend 10 minutes talking to and consoling them (attention).
Getting: The sibling gives the toy back to make the crying stop.
Avoiding: You say, "Fine, five more minutes," to stop the tantrum (avoiding turning off the tablet).
Avoiding: They are sent to their room and don't have to sit at the dinner table anymore.
Putting It All Together
Let's look at the A-B-C chain in action:
(A) Antecedent: You ask your child to put on their shoes to go to school.
(B) Behavior: Your child says, "I can't find them!" and runs to another room.
(C) Consequence: The morning routine is delayed, and you end up finding the shoes for them (avoiding the task).
Here's another one:
(A) Antecedent: A younger sibling gets too close to the LEGO tower.
(B) Behavior: The older child pushes the sibling away.
(C) Consequence: The sibling cries and moves away, and the LEGO tower is safe (getting space/protecting an item).
By breaking down a situation into these three parts, the behavior no longer seems random. It has a more easily identifiable trigger and a clear purpose. When you understand the A's and C's, you gain greater insight into enacting change in the B's.